If you don’t want to read all this, and who can blame you, just know that the Morton High School Lady Potters beat East Peoria tonight, 84-11. It wasn’t that close.
The first suggestion of the night’s nature came at 6:21 p.m. According to my iPhone, that’s when I texted a friend in a distant place to let her know how my evening at the Potterdome was going.
I typed, “Wow, am I bored. At the Jayvee game. It’s 51-18. And there’s too much salt on the popcorn.”
Too much salt, and again the customers had to walk and walk and walk to reach the concession stand, which again had been moved from its once-convenient spot near the gym entrance to a galaxy far, far away.
I love mothers. I had a mother myself. But, after the popcorn, I noticed I was in a row of bleachers dedicated mostly to mothers. They were not there to debate tactics and strategy and the glory of the Lady Potters’ full-court press. They had come to watch their fourth-grade daughters – a Morton Heat travel squad – play at halftime of the varsity game. The mothers were lovely and they were young and I texted my friend, “I am now surrounded by mothers younger than my shoelaces.”
By then the varsity game had started.
“M 24-2 at quarter,” I texted, the Morton High School Lady Potters leading East Peoria.
And “47-4 at half.”
Then came a blessed respite. The Heat’s fourth-graders skipped onto the court. They were darling. They ran 3-on-3 drills. They threw up a few shots, they made a few. Their names were Ruby Brubaker, Ella Durbin, Isabella Finch, Audrey Harkins, Gabriella Hutchinson, Lucy Kaufman, Caitlin Magnuson, Mabry Robeen, Andrea Salazar, and Harper Strube.
Alas, the varsity game resumed.
To my distant friend, I texted, “After 3 here, it’s 68-4.”
About then, the photographer Don Pyles showed up. He’s at every Potters’ game. He aimed a big lens at me. I had given up on taking meaningful notes. I had my pen clenched between my teeth. Don liked the sportswriter-in-pain portrait.
Look, the Potters came in with a 14-1 record. The East Peoria were 1-14. The Potters did what an outstanding team is supposed to do to a gawdforsaken team. They stood on their necks. It was 22-0 before East Peoria got a shot off. It was 22-0 and East Peoria hadn’t seen their rim. Against the Potters’ relentless, scrambling, merciless defense, East Peoria committed 11 turnovers in the first quarter, doing them in this order: an over-and-back violation, a failure to get up-court in 10 seconds. 5 seconds without moving at the basket, 5 seconds again, a steal, another steal, traveling, a pass out of bounds, 5 seconds, 5 seconds, (that’s four!), and one more steal.
It reminded me of a John McKay quote. The great football coach had seen his NFL team, en route to a winless season, lose yet another game in yet another miserable way. He was asked, “What do you think of your team’s execution?” McKay said, “I’m in favor of it.”
Of all the fun things the Potters did tonight, my favorite came when they led 58-5 in the third quarter. East Peoria clanged a shot. Josi Becker, the Potters’ 5-foot-3 point guard, grabbed the rebound – actually going over her taller, younger sister, 5-5 Maddy, and snatching the ball away. Even as Josi turned to sprint up-court with the ball, she did it smiling. At the end of the court-length drive, Josi bounced a nifty pass to Caylie Jones for a layup.
Pretty soon, it was 73-6 with the Potters on a 47-0 run.
My friend texted, “Boring? How do you write about that?”
“Briefly,” I said.
So I’m done.
Morton’s scoring: Lindsey Dullard and Tenley Dowell 15 each, Josi Becker 12, Maddy Becker 9, Bridget Wood 8, Megan Gold 6, Peyton Dearing and Courtney Jones 4 apiece, Kassidy Shurman 3, and 2 each by Addi Cox, Claire Kraft, Caylie Jones, and Kathryn Reiman.